First, a lot of people are paying A LOT of money for a great, big self-congratulatory party! The booze if flowing and everyone will tell you how beautiful and smart and creative you are, and how happy you look. And just like the Oscars, there will also probably be some “Negative-Nellie” looking to see if you have a baby bump underneath your form-fitting gown. Even the seemingly well-meaning friends and family don’t waste any time asking WHEN you are going to start a family? Really?
Second, the nominated ladies will spend an inordinate amount of time preparing for just a few minutes of camera time. They will diet for two weeks to shed those last few pesky pounds. They will dutifully get their mani-pedi’s designed to match their outfits. They will eschew alcohol so they are not bloated and finally they will have body hair ripped from every follicle in every private place imaginable.
Five Minutes of Screen Time
Then the fun really begins! On the big day, they will sit in the make-up chair for several hours getting their hair and make-up just right, they will try to stay hydrated without destroying the spackle work, and then finally they will pull on spandex that feels like armor to keep everything in place. Remember, this is for less than five minutes of screen time. What if you had to look flawless for six to eight hours?
Looking beautiful is not for sissies!
If you think a wedding reception is long at four or five hours, multiply that by two and that is how long the bride’s day is. By the time she walks down the aisle, she has already put in a full day of arduous manicuring and she is ready for a nap. But instead, that is when the photographer starts in earnest to capture her day. That is when the bride must summon her inner goddess and smile, and be courteous and polite even though she is starving and getting a hunger headache.
It takes a full production crew to make sure that movie stars look like movie stars. Julia Roberts deserves her $20,000,000 per picture just because she has to endure what every bride does the morning of her wedding over and over again. She endures the “beauty regime” every day for weeks and months on end. Ugh!
Besides the wedding day glow that every bride has because she is marrying the man she loves…she looks beautiful because she has spent half a day in the chair and tons of money to make sure she looks good. That’s a major effort!
As a woman, I KNOW we just don’t do that if we’re heading out to Walmart. (Hence the “real” pictures of stars in The National Enquirer)
So gentlemen, be glad it only takes you five minutes to look beautiful.
Fellow DJ Entertainers and Bandleaders… remember it is your job to make your brides (and grooms) look amazing.
Remember what they have already endured before they ever arrive at their reception.
And brides, be prepared and enjoy your day as a Hollywood Star!