A Happy Wife is a Happy DJ

by Mike Walter

As the saying goes: A happy wife is a happy life.

I’ll make the same argument to you about your staff. “A happy wife is a happy DJ.”

You have to understand that wives (or husbands if you are employing the wife) can be your biggest ally or your worst enemy.

Obviously, it’s in your best interest to make sure they are the former.

The Spousal Influence

Spouses have a huge influence over what their significant others do. If the wife likes you, and wants her husband to continue working for you, then on those days when he might come home frustrated or burnt out about working two jobs, she’ll be the one reminding him of all the great things that working for you have provided them. A wife can switch on that flat screen HDTV and say, “remember how we bought this for cash after that three wedding weekend you had in June.” And all of a sudden as Bob Marley sings, “everything is gonna be alright.”

Conversely, if the wife doesn’t want her husband DJing anymore (or just not DJing for you anymore) she can be very influential. All wives are. A steady barrage of: “We never see you on the weekends” and “that’s all the work you got this month?” and “how late are you going to be tonight” can steal the enthusiasm from anyone.

Make The Wives Like You

Here are a few tips to help:

Spouses are always welcome at Elite functions. If we have a Holiday party or Halloween party or plan a casual outing to a baseball game or whatever, spouses are always welcome. And in the past few years, as many of my DJs have become parents, I’ve even planned some “kid friendly” events. This business calls for enough time away from family, when you can, you should encourage more quality time with your DJs and their loved ones, not less.

Remember their first names. That might seem like a simple enough task but as your company grows it’ll get tougher and tougher. The key to helping me do it is when I store my DJs names and numbers in my cell phone I’ll also write their wife’s name with it. So, for example, Phil Walsh is stored in my cell phone as Phil and Sarah Walsh. I did this years ago when I would call people at home so just in case a woman answered I’d have the name right in front of me. Nowadays I most often call my DJs on their cell phones so more often than not I’ll either get them in person or their voice mail. But this little visual aid doesn’t hurt so I’ve kept it up.

Remember anniversaries. I will usually call or send an email to acknowledge a wedding anniversary. Nothing too elaborate. As they say it’s the thought that counts.

Remember the children too. As a wife becomes a Mom her whole focus changes. Start with sending a gift whenever anyone on staff has a baby. Then, do your best to remember children’s names and birthdays. A simple email or even facebook post (“Happy Birthday to Ethan!”) can really show you care.

Be sincere. None of these things mean anything unless you are sincere and likeable. Maybe I’m lucky in that regard because I generally like all of my DJs’ spouses. In fact I have one veteran on staff whose wife I never really did like and the day he came to me to tell me he was getting a divorce I had to hold back a smile. So I’m not encouraging you to be anything that you normally wouldn’t. But assuming you get along with these people, make sure you show it. And make sure you do what you can to have the feeling be mutual.

Do you have any additional ideas on making spouses happy? Let us know!

Photo: DJ Ray Martinez and his wife Zoila with former President George W. Bush.

Mike Walter – Multi-Op Corner

Mike Walter is a nationally recognized expert in the areas of DJ staff training and multi-system business development. He is also a writer for Disc Jockey News and Producer of the International DJ Expo’s “DJ of the Year” competition. Mike is the owner of NJ’s Elite Entertainment, selected by The Knot and Modern Bride magazine as one of the country’s top entertainment companies. Mike’s highly praised DVD set is available at TrainingYourNextGreatDJ.com. To contact him about his on-site training services or for general inquiries, email mike@eliteentertainment.com.


  • Mike Walter is the proud owner of Elite Entertainment, a Multi-System DJ Company in New Jersey that has been selected by TheKnot.com and WeddingWire.com as a top Entertainment company in the country. For over 30 years, he has MCed events from weddings to fashion shows and beauty pageants and his public speaking experience and acumen have served him well as a presenter.

    He began to offer seminars in 1998, at first specifically to the DJ Industry, then he expanded to speaking to event groups and finally to any and all audiences. His seminars are known for their fast pace, mix of information and entertainment and deft use of Keynote. Having sat through enough tedious seminars in his life, Mike vows to never bore an audience. Whether he is offering life changing advice, motivational challenges or hard-core information on how to grow and expand your business, Mike promises he will deliver a quick, concise, and nugget-filled presentation every time he speaks.

    Mike has published three books, Running Your Multi-Op which is widely consider the most comprehensive book for anyone interested in expanding their DJ business, the self-help primer, Ten Things You Can Do to Have a Better Day and the music history compendium: On This Date in Music. He’s also released a number of education videos to help his fellow DJs and business owners. In 2014 he partnered with Joe Bunn to start the PhDJ Workshop and in 2017 the two began a weekly podcast called the PhDJ Podcast.

    For more information head to DJMikeWalter.com and OnThisDateInMusic.com

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