The Importance of Email Subject Lines – Part 2

by Jerry Bazata
Part 2 of a 2 Part Article

As stated previously in Part 1, you have less than 3 seconds to capture the attention of a reader before he or she decides to read, delete or save your sales pitch.

Once you have captured the readers attention, the next challenge is to communicate your message without boring them, a canned sales pitch, endless dialogue about your company, and the absence of a call to action.

The Body of Your Message

In the body of your message, there are three key points to cover, which should be conveyed in four to five sentences or statements:

  • Establish Credibility – a statement that demonstrates you have expert knowledge about the service or product you are selling. This does not mean you state how many years you have in the business, rather that you make a comment related to something relevant and current that would affect the buyer’s decision.
  • Pique Curiosity – accomplish this by allowing the reader to develop a question(s) that they would want answered as a result of reading your email. Providing a relevant statistic, article of interest, or factual information will further strengthen your credibility.
  • Close Graciously – this is the key area where most emails fail miserably. Most people use the closing statement is to aggressively pitch the sale and ask for a decision to buy. WRONG! Your goal at his point should be to continue the conversation via either a phone conversation or face to face meeting.

Email to a Prospective Bride

Here are two examples of emails that have continued conversations resulting in booked business for my DJ company:

It’s a tough challenge to choose the perfect entertainer for your wedding reception. Especially because there are so many choices to explore on the internet, social networks, and referrals from friends and family.

I have some ideas on how to help you work through this process, but first I thought you might be interested in this white paper on how to select the appropriate DJ for your wedding reception. Contrary to most bride’s expectations, research shows that the thing over 58% of guests remembered most from the wedding was the entertainment.

If you’re interested, I’d like to spend a few minutes talking with you about this further. I’m flexible regarding dates and times, so please let time knows what works for you. I think you will find the discussion to be well worth your time.

Email to Gain Repeat Business

Now that the 2011-2012 school year is in full swing, I have begun to receive inquires regarding dances and proms. As I truly enjoyed performing for the students last year, I am hopeful that your school will again engage my DJ Services for one or more of your upcoming events.

I know that the committee advisers change from year to year, so I would greatly appreciate it if you would provide me with the contact information for this year’s class advisers and possible a brief introduction.

My policy is to provide those schools who have previously engaged my services, the first opportunity to book before I open up my calendar to other inquiries.

I look forward to the opportunity to return again this year, and entertain the students of XYZ High School.

My Response Rate

In both examples provided, I have tracked an 85% response rate that lead to an email indicating one of the of following:

  1. They wanted to set up a time to talk over the phone
  2. They wanted to set up an in-person meeting.
  3. They thanked me for the information and stated that they would consider it.

Within 24 hours I received a response by email and a follow up phone call from four of the class advisers requesting to book me again for proms in 2012, and two of the schools also booked me for an additional event in the winter months.

It’s a jungle out there, so consider this:

Every morning in Africa, a Gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a Lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest Gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you are a Lion or a Gazelle… when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.”

Like the Gazelle or the King of Beasts, to stay alive and be best-in-breed as a entrepreneur, you need speed, agility and valor. Will you eat or be eaten?

Jerry Bazata – Money Answer Man

Jerry Bazata has over 25 years of experience as a professional mobile entertainer. He is the owner of DJ Jaz Music and Entertainment, and J & J Marketing and Entertainment, a leading consultant to the event planning and music industries. Jerry is also a Vice President in the Global Commercial Bank-Business Banking Group of a global financial institution.

He has been a featured speaker numerous times at the International Bar & Restaurant Show in Las Vegas and the International DJ Expo in Atlantic City. Jerry’s charismatic, humorous and down-to-earth style allows attendees to get educated in an entertaining manner. He provides guidance and inspiration to help DJ business owners achieve their financial goals.

Additionally, Jerry has authored countless articles about financial and marketing success strategies that have appeared in a DJ Times Magazine and financial publications. His insights and forecasting abilities are second to none.

Jerry is a graduate of Sacred Heart University in Connecticut. He holds Bachelor of Administration Banking and Finance, and Bachelor of Administration Marketing degrees as well as an American Institute of Banking Sales Management and Theory Degree.

You can visit Jerry’s website, Maine Disc Jockey or email him at


  • Jerry Bazata (Maine’s DJ Jaz) has over 25 years of experience as a professional DJ entertainer. His firm, J & J Marketing and Entertainment, is a leading consultant to the event planning and music industries. Jerry is a published author and is recognized nationally as an authority on the disc jockey business. He is also Senior Vice President of a global financial institution. To learn about Jerry’s DJ company, visit and you can email him at

Latest articles

Related articles